Betrayal at the Highest Level – Dream

Story of unthinkable betrayal at the highest level within this creation, a potential reaching back to the start, finally revealed and out in the open
Winter Tree Cross – by marcusway33

Unthinkable Betrayal

Last night (Sat 5/14) was betrayal. I’ve had a hard time all day accepting it. I’ve been one huge knot of tension, but I can’t seem to face it. I can barely even get myself to consider it. In the dream the betrayer had revealed him/herself because s/he thought the success of the rebellion was assured. I don’t know who betrayed us, but it was huge – the ultimate betrayal. It was someone I/we trusted so completely, so unquestionably, that it was unthinkable. It was someone we partnered with on all levels through all of history. It was someone I thought of as a spirit without gender, someone who didn’t embody here, not one of the first seeds – someone with much more knowledge and power.

Today I wondered who that would be. Who would be the equivalent in my life now? I considered what it would be like to discover that my Beloved was betraying us all along – but I know that it wasn’t him. I wouldn’t even get the waking message that we’d been betrayed if he wasn’t here channeling the message to me. I considered what it would be like if Jaya betrayed all of us – but I know it wasn’t her either. Those two examples were to show me the magnitude of it. They’re the two I trust here with everything, and it feels like it’s on that scale. Not Jaya’s Beloved. Not Gaia. Who besides us sisters and our beloveds would we trust like that? I considered one of the ten immortals and I decided I’d better not make guesses and cast any stones in the wrong direction.

Mastermind

Even on the multiverse scale, this wasn’t something like my first seed nemesis seizing power or my ‘Judas’ betraying me. This was someone we trusted so completely, someone so wrapped up in everything from the very start, that we never saw the signs at all. And it’s not like Chancellor Palpatine, where you can tell he’s evil and manipulative. This was someone that seemed genuinely dedicated to the cause, someone who unfailingly worked for the greater good, someone who knew all of our forms and disguises, fought alongside us, and saved our lives over and over and over. Who do we rely on without a doubt?

I woke up and told myself that this was the mastermind – the one behind everything, all of the plots within plots within plots. Now we know who it is. This spirit and everyone aligned with him/her believes they’ve won, but we expected this before the start. Somehow, now we can defeat them. It’s just the emotional impact of the betrayal that’s rattling me.

Story of unthinkable betrayal at the highest level within this creation, a potential reaching back to the start, finally revealed and out in the open
Dragon – by Carl Jung

Who holds space for us?

Why can’t I face the truth about who the betrayer is? In the dream I had no doubt. This morning it’s just in front of me but I can’t see it. The emotional toll is just too heart-breaking. Hallow wants me to remember consciously. I keep giving myself hints, asking questions. ‘Who holds space for us (always)?’ ‘Who do we discuss everything with (by default)?’ ‘Who do we confess everything to (whether we intend to or not)?’ ‘Who do we take for granted (because they’re always present with us)?’ ‘Who is always there, witnessing everything, listening to every conversation, hearing every thought?’

It’s crazy, but it seems like I’m telling myself that ‘space’ is the betrayer. Did ‘space’ betray time and everyone in space-time? How is that possible? I’ve visited the ‘time keeper’.  Is it just a part of me, a separate spirit, both? Is there a ‘space keeper’? Who keeps the space? I think of it as the geometry, the Ten Immortals.

Moment of Revelation

More of the dream is coming back to me now. I know that I was the one who found them out and confronted them. We’d been alone together, carrying out a sneak attack, allies facing a common enemy. Then in a heartbeat, someone that I’d loved so dearly and trusted so unquestionably was revealed as my true enemy, so warped and consumed that I couldn’t even recognize them. It was as if they were a stranger and I’d never known them at all. The initial blow sent me reeling, losing all stability and sense of reference.

The instant that I knew, s/he knew that I knew. I don’t know if I figured it out because I had sudden gnosis that they planned to murder me, or if they planned to murder me because I found out. It all happened so fast, the gnosis and the reaction intertwined. The truth flowed through me with such a chill that I felt my entire torus become ice from head to toe, a frozen waterfall suddenly crystalized and suspended in time within me. In retrospect, that’s what saved me. I made myself rigid, impartial, ice.

Story of unthinkable betrayal at the highest level within this creation, a potential reaching back to the start, finally revealed and out in the open
Frozen Waterfall at Johnston Canyon, Banff National Park – by Paul Zizka

Confessor

I was in peril and s/he thought to destroy me, but I knew that I was still in control. I knew that I only needed to stall for a moment, and the others were on their way. I used the time to ask what I had to know, and never wanted to know – their self-rationalization. I had to do it. I knew that they’d feel too ashamed to confess to the others when they showed up, or that they wouldn’t get a chance before their wrath descended and the betrayer retreated into silence.

I knew that s/he would confess to me alone, now, in my seemingly vulnerable state, at this moment before my apparent demise. Here and now, they would express their true feelings and motives to me – gloating, anger, jealousy, guilt, defensiveness – if I could just force myself to accept the role of confessor. The ice in me crackled as it froze even harder, and I asked, “Why?”

Winning Side

I remember what I heard when they were revealed – their defense. They said plaintively, “They’re going to win. I want to be on the winning side.” I asked myself – “How, when?” How long ago where they turned against us? How was it even possible? Suddenly it seemed like it could have been any time at all – back at the very beginning! Everything was dumped into this giant unknown. The answer was ‘recently’, and I don’t know if that’s a relief or not. I realized that whether they consciously decided to double-cross us recently or not, it really was the unknown stretching clear back to the start.

The potential for this, the desire to be on the ‘winning side’, was always there. How many of our supporters only supported us because they believed that we were all-powerful? Maybe this was necessary, to weed out every single bit of this feeling. I suppose it had to come to this point – as if we really would lose, to flush out the truth.

Story of unthinkable betrayal at the highest level within this creation, a potential reaching back to the start, finally revealed and out in the open
Frozen tidal wave, base of Dumont D’Urville, Antarctica – by Tony Travouillon

When and How

In the dream, once I knew who’d betrayed us, then I’d been able to place myself back in time and witness it firsthand.  It happened – they saw that the tide appeared to be turning.  They said that the crossing was a victory for us, but they saw that as our last one.  They thought that we put everything we had into that fragment of the next creation, and in doing so we sacrificed the whole creation here.  They concluded that we were more interested in succession than in any one ‘life’ including this one.

Then they said, “They offered me…”  Someone offered them a big role in running this creation once we’re gone.  They said, “Now I’ll finally be worthy of her, an equal.”  Who?  Who has felt beneath, striving for the approval of their partner, feeling inferior regardless of how important their role and accomplishments?  IS it ‘space’ feeling unworthy of ‘time’?!!!  It still doesn’t seem like this is anyone living now, nor their spirits.  Not the first seeds, something much bigger.  Though of course it all rises up from and trickles down to earth somehow.

I’m not going to speculate more until I really remember and know more.  I don’t want to cast stones in the wrong place, and I still worry that I’m wrong.

(To be continued)

Hallow ~ May 15th, 2016

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Betrayal
by Laura Welsh

I want to learn to love this feeling
Now that I’ve wasted all this time
I can’t relate to what I’m missing
Now I’ve got betrayal on my mind

I’ve seen heaven in love
Heaven in life
But I was stupid enough to believe I was right
All the nails in my heart have rusted inside
But all along I’ve tried

And now
This race has run
And now I need to learn learn learn
To let you leave
To let you run into the fire
To make me breath
Until you come and wake the liars
I know my heart can never stop as I let go
I only wanted you to let me know

I want to learn to love this feeling
Now that I’ve wasted all your time
Can’t you relate to what you’re missing
Cus I’ve got redemption on my mind

I’ve seen heaven in love
Heaven in life
But I was stupid enough to believe I was right
All the nails in my heart have rusted inside
But all I left is pride

And now
This race has run
And now I need to learn learn learn
To let you leave
To let you run into the fire
To make me breath
Until you come and wake the liars
I know my heart can never stop as I let go
I only wanted you to let me know