down to the river to prey – using anger

Enter and be Changed, Jaya 2016
Enter and be Changed, Jaya 2016

06.08.16 – I had some rough experiences with people this week which led to an intense frustration with humans and the blame game. Thus, I went down to the river. It usually eases my heart quickly, but I couldn’t settle for awhile. My anger only continued to build. I spent time in the river and cleansed the stones that had asked to come along. After an hour of trying to calm down, I sat down in the chair with a huff and gave in. I focused on my breath and merged with my surroundings. Within minutes, an elk crossed the stream about 50ft in front of me. It startled, noticing me, as I was downwind and I observed quietly. I wondered what it heralded. Then the wind buffeted me and I sank into a journey with a Kachina I hadn’t worked with in 16 years. He first appeared to me during a guided journey where I was to meet my elemental helper. This time he came as Butterfly Dancer (the Kachina that lands on flowers, then the medicine man uses these in his medicine), fitting as I noticed many butterflies about.
Read the full journey here.

Spiritual Anecdotes IX

Here are spiritual anecdotes from my ninth week with spirit guidance: (Dec 10th – Dec 16th, 2012)

Spiritual anecdotes from my early weeks of awakening, coming to terms with the acceleration of my kundalini and its effects on those around me
After the Storm by Alix Arduinna

Soon I go pick up Forrest. He’s doing just three periods of school today but he was coughing so much this morning it’s a wonder they’ll even let him in the school. They’re worried about him failing the semester after all of his absences for illness.  I asked my spirits again.  They said he doesn’t need to see the pediatrician or make another visit to the hospital, just give him the tea they gave me, and let him rest. -12/10/12 Continue reading “Spiritual Anecdotes IX”

Spiritual Anecdotes VIII – Part II

Here are the rest of the spiritual anecdotes from my eighth week with spirit guidance: (Dec 3rd – Dec 9th, 2012)

Spiritual anecdotes from my early weeks of awakening, gaining more confidence, processing more emotions, and starting to prepare for the winter solstice.
Mood Rings

Things I told the medicine man today:

  • “When I look sad, there is actually more joy in me than you can possibly imagine; and when I look happy, there is more sorrow in me than you can possibly imagine.”
  • “I know I change fast, but the people who accept it are the ones who are good for me and the ones who freak out are the ones I don’t want to be around anyhow.”
  • “I’m grounded from the heart. My boundaries are not around my person.  They are around my whole heart, pieces of my heart, little fragments of my heart.  I share as much as I can with each person.”

Continue reading “Spiritual Anecdotes VIII – Part II”

Spiritual Anecdotes VIII – Part I

Here are some of the spiritual anecdotes from my eighth week with spirit guidance: (Dec 3rd – Dec 9th, 2012)

Spiritual anecdotes from my early weeks of awakening, beginning to believe in myself and question some of the rigid doctrines and practices of others
Spiritual sickness & fever

Tonight I was telling the kids about how our family is invited to a sweat lodge on the winter solstice and what a tremendous honor it is. I felt that heart squeeze and I tried not to cry. At that instant my cell phone lit up – as if I was getting a call – but it didn’t ring and there really was no missed call.  I knew – it was a spirit call. – 12/3/12

Today someone told me that when he took the shamanic trainings more than a decade ago, everyone retrieved their OWN spirit animals. When I took it we learned that there are three ways – have someone journey to retrieve spirit animal(s) for you; be given them as a gift by your other spirit guides (once you already have them); or journey for them yourself.  I was taught that journeying on your own would require a HUGE sacrifice of personal energy though – on the magnitude of achieving a spiritual state by sitting in a cave chanting or on a mountain top meditating non-stop for days, or a serious expenditure of energy like a major fast or illness.  We were advised never to attempt it that way. Continue reading “Spiritual Anecdotes VIII – Part I”

Where all magic begins

Where all Magic begins, Jaya 2015
Where all Magic begins, Jaya 2015

In the heart of the forest, the deep place within, that is where it begins. In the shadow of a tall tree and the promise of light beyond, that is where it ignites. In the song of a bird and the moisture of the dirt felt keenly contrasted to the first warmth of sunrise, that is where the seed sprouts.

Magic is community, the relationships we nurture. From the microbes that provide nutrients in our bodies to the hugs of a friend, receiving and giving becomes a feedback loop of mutual benefit.

To follow our stories on Facebook or Pinterest please like us:
https://www.facebook.com/ChaosKrakens
https://www.pinterest.com/chaoskrakens

Spiritual Anecdotes VII

Here are anecdotes from my seventh week with spirit guidance: (Nov 26th – Dec 2nd, 2012)

Spiritual anecdotes of learning to balance my emotions during my kundalini awakening
Maintaining the Balance by Tracy Panthera

Yesterday my birthday was subdued.  Marty hurt his ankle at my sisters, he’s not sure how.  He had to elevate and rest it, and Sierra was in bed feeling sick.  I went for a walk with Forrest and Ashton.  Forrest hasn’t taken a walk with me in about two years. He’s my non-nature kid, which is funny since he’s named ‘Forrest’.  Yesterday I asked him to please come and he did. I asked him to place his hands on one of the madrona trees with me and I felt tremendous zaps, not just tingles, of energy. He said he felt nothing but I’m certain he did. I asked if he’ll take one walk a month with me, as a gift to me, for the next year. He said he will, and he rolled his eyes but he was smiling and feeling happy. I don’t want to force him to do things but it seems like he wants me to give him a nudge. – 11/26/12

Today I went for a walk in the morning.  Honestly I thought I’d better hurry out and enjoy the woods in case I decide later today to stop walking for a while.  I’m meeting with the medicine man later and not certain what I’ll agree to there.  This morning in my journey I asked what I needed to know about our meeting and I was told simply ‘No’.  Then every time I tried to begin asking a question it was cut off with another ‘no’.  Am I not supposed to go?  Am I not supposed to journey today? Continue reading “Spiritual Anecdotes VII”

Gaia’s Lounge: Part Tre

Being, Jaya 2002
Being, Jaya 2002

I notice she’s no longer serving customers, staying behind the counter with a stack of orders that would make the most seasoned flush with nerves. I feel the whirlwind that is her energy impact me before I’m near enough for her to see me. Yet, she pivots like a practiced dancer, sensing my approach. Suddenly, the atmosphere calms as though I’ve reached the eye of the storm and she warms me with one of her treasured smiles. A few stray hairs stick to her forehead, damp with perspiration, while the rest of her tresses continue to move busily behind her, like extra appendages. Now I know why she kept her hair long.

She laughs as I watch her hair dance. “Clever, no?” she teases me. I nod and she reaches to squeeze my shoulders with her warm hands. “You look well, sister.” Read the rest here

Gaia’s Lounge: Part one (2007)

The End, Jaya 2007
The End, Jaya 2007

“This isn’t the cosmo I ordered,” I glare at the waitress.

She smiles sweetly, her eyes suddenly wise in their wrinkles, “It’s exactly what you need, dear.” She pivots quickly on her heel and I smell vanilla in the breeze she leaves behind.

I look down suspiciously at the tall martini glass filled with something blue and mysterious. As I clench my jaw and stir it forcefully with that swizzle stick, knocking out that obtrusive piece of pineapple wedged on the side, I curse under my breath. How dare she decide what is right for me? read more on what Gaia serves me.

Spiritual Anecdotes VI

Kundalini anecdotes from my spiritual awakening
My Heart is an Open Book by DragonWinter (Natalie Kelsey)

Here are more kundalini anecdotes from my sixth week with spirit guidance: (Nov 19th – Nov 25th, 2012):

I woke up and made of list of things I don’t know:  Who to trust; Who to listen to; Who to go to; What to do about my messages; How to hear precise instructions so I don’t do anything that is not for the infinite greatest good; How to best practice; How to best communicate; How to best show my gratitude and devotion; How to best spend my time; How to feel; How to relax; How to be open; When to speak; What to say.  The more things change, the more I worry that I have no idea what I’m doing.  How did I used to get from day to day and hour to hour, making decisions?  Now I feel frozen again. – 11/19/12

Every day so many messages and new experiences. I don’t feel prepared but more keep coming. I look forward to finding ‘my’ teacher but I’m being patient. I must not be ready. – 11/19/12

I reminded myself this morning – only I control my emotions, like my hope. – 11/19/12 Continue reading “Spiritual Anecdotes VI”

Spiritual Anecdotes V

Here are spiritual anecdotes from my fifth week with spirit guidance: (Nov 12th – Nov 18th, 2012)

Spiritual anecdotes V - dreams of the past and rattles used in ancient times
Rattles and shakers of the world

Last night I was exhausted and went to bed at 10:30pm.  I awoke at 5am when Marty’s alarm went off.  That reminds me – yesterday morning it went off at 5am also, and I heard, “My Father!” being screamed quite loudly.  I turned his alarm off and went back to bed but I figured it was a message.  I call John Hendricks ‘dad’, so I don’t know who I’d call father.  In the morning I had Marty check and the alarm wasn’t set to music, nor set to a loud volume.  It was the usual quiet nature sounds. – 11/12/12 (Note – This was my first awakening message about reconnecting with my chaos family)

When I finally awoke for the final time I heard myself saying in my mind, “Imole.  It made a good left-sided rattle.”  It was pronounced like ‘eye-mole-A’.  I don’t know what it meant.  I realized that I had been holding a rattle in my left hand in the dream and shaking it.  I had the sense that it was some instrument used long ago and in another culture.  In my dream I was receiving tutoring, a sort of spirit education where I traveled back and viewed past life memories from both an embodied and an external perspective at the same time.  The voice speaking was like an instructor but it sounded like me – instructing myself. – 11/13/12 Continue reading “Spiritual Anecdotes V”