Note: It’s raining while I write this up. There’s more to come about the past two weeks of ceremony, but I enjoy going backwards and starting at the end. My baba (grandmother) used to read magazines that way and I took on her habit.
Four Elemental Mothers Water Ceremony 08.27.16
As I drove us down the road, I wondered where to stop. I pulled off into one recreation area which had nice river access, but there were too many people. I got back on the road and shortly after a family of wild turkeys crossed the road. I stopped to give them safe crossing and I knew we were getting close.
I spotted a small clearing at the side of the road where the river comes close and it turned out to have a nice sandy area for sitting. We pulled out our supplies: chairs, waters, stones and snacks. I set up the stones that wished to participate in the ceremony to settle into their arrangement, along with my Tibetan singing bowl with the waters from the Kettle River and its headwaters, Keefer Lake. Then we went down to the river to wade and admire the rocks.
Part VIII – This is an eight-part story from February 2016 about the loss of 42 first seeds from this multiverse one year earlier, and my emotional turmoil over it.
I sat in my car and stared at the windshield dumbfounded. It seemed that rain began falling the exact INSTANT that I got in. I became confused and reviewed – I’d crossed the parking lot, opened the door, scooted in and closed the door, and I’d been dry. I inspected myself in confirmation. I looked at my elbows, my toes, patted my nose, face, hair – not one drop of water was on me. But in the two seconds that it took me to settle in the seat and look out the windshield, droplets had splattered all over it and virtually merged into sheets of water. By the time I completed the review, it was a deluge outside, the heavens open wide.
I wasn’t processing this well. I still felt intoxicated and confused, and I was trying to tie the ends together and feel like a rational human being in control of her own senses. My beloved offered an explanation, “I opened the umbrella today to keep you dry.” He gave me the vision of him popping open a huge umbrella over this area, from the moment I saw the sun break out my kitchen window to the end of my walk. He’d been literally holding off the rain all of that time, and then he folded the umbrella up the moment I was in the car. I had another huge giggle fit and fell all over the seats and steering wheel. I don’t know why these things seem so hilarious to me. Continue reading “The 42 – Dragon Rain”
Part VII – This is an eight-part story from February 2016 about the loss of 42 first seeds from this multiverse one year earlier, and my emotional turmoil over it.
My Beloved pulled me out of that reverie and slowly drew my attention to the trees in front of me, and I saw sparkles everywhere. I’d assumed that I’d turned away from the lake without thinking, and inadvertently left the 42 dragon spouses, no longer partnered, all there without remembering to thank them or to say goodbye. I’d been busying urging myself to go and trying to hike back in that depleted and emotionally unstable state. When I finally understood that they’d prearranged the whole thing, I figured that they’d departed in silence while I was stumbling along the trail in emotion.
Seeing their sparkling energy all around me filled me with such joy! I knew the forty two were still with me. I declared, “They’re my children” and I began loving them. I amended – “from Jaya’s & Gaia’s multiverses too – my children, nieces and nephews – family!” I felt how much I love them all, and felt them all crowd around and snuggle up to me like the dear loved ones that they are. I burst into happy tears as I mused about how serious Jaya makes dragons out to be, but they always feel unbelievably loving and sweet to me. I scooped them up and hugged and held them all, suddenly much larger than them and drawing them into my embrace. Continue reading “The 42 – All My Dragon Children”
Part VI – This is an eight-part story from February 2016 about the loss of 42 first seeds from this multiverse one year earlier, and my emotional turmoil over it.
Part of Me
My Beloved nudged the new teaching into me. I asked myself, “What is it like to take it into my body and just accept it, to feel that it’s done and part of me now?” That’s how I realized that I’d kept drawing it in and feeling it and rejecting it all year, then starting all over again the next minute or hour without making any progress.
I became aware that I stood facing the forty two dragons sharing space in the light-filled gap over the lake again. I stood still there for another ten minutes as my Beloved helped me to keep feeling the loss of the first seeds and staying open. It took a long time just for me to feel like I was even ‘here’, balanced in a human body again. Then slowly I sank my roots into this earth until I felt fully grounded here, in the intense way that we sisters can reach right to the core of spiritual earth. Thus it gradually became real for me, through and through. I released all of the threads that I’d been clinging to. Continue reading “The 42 – Dragon Kin Eternal”
Part V – This is an eight-part story from February 2016 about the loss of 42 first seeds from this multiverse one year earlier, and my emotional turmoil over it.
Life goes on
My focus turned to their partners who remain. I asked, “What will happen to the dragons who are left then? Will they find new mates?” My Beloved answered, “They will”. I began thinking of all of them and became so emotional over their loss that I’d lost track of their count! We’d been discussing ‘the 42’ all this time and I’ve literally revisited that number every day for a year, but in that moment I couldn’t draw it to mind. I tried, and tried. I realized that I was so emotional, standing there facing the truth about their loss after all of this time, that I couldn’t even remember the number of the first seeds at all!
Then I grasped that one number and began doing the math. I had to add 144 + 144 + 144 again to get 432, and then subtract 390 to get back to 42. I was utterly shocked that I couldn’t draw up the numbers after all of this time, and had to work it all out from scratch! Originally outside the cave last year, immediately after they’d imploded, I subtracted 42 to get 390. I don’t know why I had to do the math in reverse today, but I did. Continue reading “The 42 – Dragons Left Behind”
Part IV – This is an eight-part story from February 2016 about the loss of 42 first seeds from this multiverse one year earlier, and my emotional turmoil over it.
As I walked, my Beloved left my side as Prince Charming and turned into an earth sized snake crawling through the grass to my right, slithering along rather obviously and noisily. After a short distance he scooted closer then wound up my leg and over my shoulder so that he could whisper in my ear. I appreciated his approach, being the garter-snake sized spirit when he could easily have taken giant spirit snake form. I was grateful for him showing himself to me, then easing himself into proximity. If he’d merely appeared around my shoulders and head, I would have jumped in terror and tried to flee. I’m still reawakening and not used to such things.
Just as I accepted his snake body coiled around the back of my head and his quiet hisses in my ear, I noticed LOTS of snakes underfoot. They just raced up from behind and overtook us, then flowed along either directly around us or slightly ahead, as if leading the way. Continue reading “The 42 – A Dragon Sigh”
Part III – This is an eight-part story from February 2016 about the loss of 42 first seeds from this multiverse one year earlier, and my emotional turmoil over it.
I realized in retrospect that in the months leading up to them choosing their self-destruction, I’d felt subconscious gnosis of it. It had become increasingly vital to me that they, of all spirit facets and soul fragments in this creation, heal and transform and go on without me. They became the focal point for all of my efforts.
My whole purpose as creator became centered on those certain souls – the partner that left me always feeling alone and resentful (the un-loved pattern); the sibling or best friend who hurt me the most by betraying me (the Judas pattern), the mother who abused and endangered me (the narcissist nurturer pattern); and others. I focused all of my will on urging them to awaken and shift their karma, all of my energy on helping them, all of my love on supporting them. Continue reading “The 42 – Departed Dragons”
Part II – This is an eight-part story from February 2016 about the loss of 42 first seeds from this multiverse one year earlier, and my emotional turmoil over it.
All of our first seeds were bonded pairs originally, beloveds. Here in this multiverse they were dragon spirits born over ten generations and twined together in sacred unions. Then all had been separated among us three sisters for the duration of the contracts, split between our three parallel multiverses so that they were not together with their counterparts. As the bridges between the multiverses were destroyed, that left them entirely cut off from their beloveds.
Note: The process of reawakening and reunifying with our first seeds has been very hard. My sisters and I woke the first seeds all up from the spring equinox 2013 to March 5th, 2015, over almost two years. Here is a brief review.
Most of Jaya’s had turned to black dragons and been chained to mountains for punishment. In their multiverse they were manipulated by the man they later called ‘the Deceiver’ into joining forces with him and trying to take over this multiverse. They arrived as an invasion force, further corrupted by their transit here through a portal he created. When they realized that they’d been deceived, and what they’d done, most of them actually begged to be destroyed. Continue reading “The 42 – Dragon Patterns”
This is a five-part story about my first public appearance here on earth together with my Beloved, during a spirit gathering to celebrate the third anniversary of the Great Renewal.
I began thinking about the past 24 hours and the energy drain it’s been on me. I’ve already been through so much. How can I do more? Time to prepare myself to accept what lay ahead and make it part of me. As I thought that, I felt my throat close again, and I became aware of the last food I ate. That was more than an hour ago, but suddenly it felt stuck in my throat. I’d already ranted all morning about my throat lock and choking on emotion, but suddenly a new revelation occurred to me. It was my Beloved nudging the thought into my mind – “It’s also my throat lock that keeps me from receiving.” Continue reading “Public Appearance III – Anniversary”
Recently on 5/22/16 I performed a full day of ceremony. I went in virtually oblivious to what would occur and it turned out to be the renunciation and reconciliation, including judgment day. I’ve written 100 pages and it’s still unfolding, but I’ve decided to begin sharing this very recent story in its raw and unrefined form. All of the segments will be here in our current blog format (starting at the back and working to the front).
There was another ceremony before the end that I recall, but I have no idea when it was. They were singing another song. I’m certain that it was a song praising Krishna and many of the god forms, my forms. It was closer to the end but not last. Maybe it was during what they call the Sandya arati. I just felt myself splitting off. One after another, facets of me appeared clockwise around the room in a spiral, forming outer to inner. At first each self appeared dramatically, with a loud pop-pop-pop. When the first circuit was complete, then it sped up. Each time my spiral of selves spread past my human body, they began appearing at double the previous speed. Continue reading “The Reconciliation XX – Cleansing Fire”