Betrayal is definitely the word I’d use to describe what I felt. Hate and betrayal, as though the one thing I thought I could count on suddenly believed I was the “them” in “us vs them” and it played out both energetically and physically…(she described private details of what she experienced personally on her end and what an emotional toll it took on her)
When night came I felt things start to ease and I set my intention to dream about the underlying cause. I dreamed (last night) that you and I were out and about, in a crowded mall, intent on our work. We had charts, movies, plans, etc. and we were putting all the final pieces in place. (One of the first seeds) was constantly trying to undermine us, interrupt our progress, and cause a general attention seeking tantrum. At first we were watching a movie to determine where in the plot we needed to intervene and s/he was behind us, chatting and making interruptions. We were ignoring that and s/he put their head between us from behind, in a “hey, pay attention to me” way that was annoying. You said you didn’t like that one bit, so I turned and said not to do that again. Typical first seed, trying to get attention.
All of the ceremonies, subtle and forthright, I do involve layers of community and co-creation. Some of these layers of meaning I understand, some layers I expect to percolate for understanding later, and some layers I don’t worry about, for they are the layers I expect others to extrapolate. I may seem like a one-woman show at times, but I am always co-creating, even if you can’t see my colleagues. I have deep faith in the workings of the cosmos, especially nature and its desire for homeostasis. I believe in the beauty of what I’ve co-created. I have strong ties to places of being where the energies of wildness still poke through and where help is readily available (plant, mineral, elemental, animal, spiritual, etc.). My core way of being is held steadfast in knowing that everything I need on that level is accessible in each moment. Thus, I see the sacred in mundane. I often seem prepared because I’m always accessing information and unseen help around me. It is this community that I tend to and nurture on a daily basis. Read more on how I approach ceremony here…
This is part XI of XI of The Crossing ceremony, work my sister and I performed during the first twenty-one days of February 2016. We needed to perform it secretly, and so we ourselves were not fully cognizant of the scope and implications of what we were doing until after the fact, when we gave ourselves a review. All of the stories can be found here:
What happened from your perspective on Saturday night and Sunday morning? That was a really intense time.
She wrote back:
I’m not sure about Saturday and Sunday. I am very emotionally charged right now and that’s taking forefront. I know the weekend was very full for me. I was doing ceremony everywhere I went, but I don’t even know why. My place is quite full of beings and there’d been all kinds of interesting spirit work leading up to the weekend… I had interactions with higher selves of others during my releasing rituals at night. Saturday was the last night of the 21 days of that releasing. I did a special tea ceremony on Sunday to celebrate and honor my new guardians (the ones I summoned with a mudra). I was just rolling with everything and trying to journal what I could.Continue reading “The Crossing XI – Comparing Notes”