Last night (Sat 5/14) was betrayal. I’ve had a hard time all day accepting it. I’ve been one huge knot of tension, but I can’t seem to face it. I can barely even get myself to consider it. In the dream the betrayer had revealed him/herself because s/he thought the success of the rebellion was assured. I don’t know who betrayed us, but it was huge – the ultimate betrayal. It was someone I/we trusted so completely, so unquestionably, that it was unthinkable. It was someone we partnered with on all levels through all of history. It was someone I thought of as a spirit without gender, someone who didn’t embody here, not one of the first seeds – someone with much more knowledge and power.
Today I wondered who that would be. Who would be the equivalent in my life now? I considered what it would be like to discover that my Beloved was betraying us all along – but I know that it wasn’t him. I wouldn’t even get the waking message that we’d been betrayed if he wasn’t here channeling the message to me. I considered what it would be like if Jaya betrayed all of us – but I know it wasn’t her either. Those two examples were to show me the magnitude of it. They’re the two I trust here with everything, and it feels like it’s on that scale. Not Jaya’s Beloved. Not Gaia. Who besides us sisters and our beloveds would we trust like that? I considered one of the ten immortals and I decided I’d better not make guesses and cast any stones in the wrong direction.
This morning I thought back to a post which I was guided to a week ago. I found it after I’d written about the reconciliation and processed it for a two full weeks, during which I continued to uncover so many layers of beauty. They unraveled and revealed themselves steadily in the weeks following the ceremony, though I haven’t shared any of those yet. I’d just finally written the XX segments of the story of the ceremony itself, and then I found the post. Continue reading “Thoughts on Us vs. Them”
That brings up another recurrent topic again. This has become part of endless journals and conversations lately, so it must need to be publicized. Most certainly 666 is not the sign of the ‘devil’ in the sense that people have assumed – personification of evil. Ha-Satan is a spirit like all of us in our spirit forms. He’s a dragon from Jaya’s universe, one that lovingly volunteered to be the shadow self for another spirit when it was that spirit’s turn to embody. Continue reading “Trifinity Instructions X – That Old Serpent”
The transition from dispersion to wholeness will take time. We all helped to create what is here now. There is a lot of finger pointing occurring, as awareness increases. Healing means viewing everything from a balanced perspective and asking, “What lessons have I learned?” Eventually we can look back on every experience and say, “Thank you for teaching me.”
‘Us’ versus ‘Them’
We are all going through this education here. Sometimes we sisters feel like ‘us’ against ‘them’ too. For example, Jaya has been under human surveillance since childhood and I came under surveillance in college. It coincided with me feeling like I was being watched all of the time and trying to convince myself that I was just paranoid. Two years ago my spirit guides and self began showing me the infrared and satellite feeds, control rooms, teams of remote viewers, and hidden recording devices everywhere I went. It’s all true. We are all being monitored, filtered, edited, but we are not powerless either. Continue reading “Going Public III – Lessons”
This was the continuation of my second spirit blessing, and a special occasion – the Great Union. In this part my sisters sat with me in the temple overlooking the Emerald City and gave me a chance to ask questions about the ceremony we’d just performed.
The Happy song was still playing on and off in my mind like a dreamy fantasy, but I knew this was my best chance to ask questions and learn answers. There was so much about tonight that I didn’t understand. I decided to go with broad, general questions and let my sisters fill in as much detail as they would. I asked, “What did we do?” I was overwhelmed and struggling not to succumb to sleep though, so I couldn’t always hear the answers and kept asking the same questions over and over until I could understand at least a little.
I gathered that we didn’t copy ourselves. Jaya said, “We exist beyond the chaos DNA. It is our gift to them, our connection to them, the covenant.” I understood then that the chaos DNA is in our dragon body form and possibly in all of our ‘body’ forms to the highest, but beyond that either at the Source or possibly when everything is suddenly within us, we are energy beyond this double helix configuration. We hold it within our lower bodies as our message or instructions for our creations, but we were not formed ourselves from this blueprint. Continue reading “The Great Union VI – Explanations”
This is the continuation of my instructions for the spirit blessing and Great Union that night:
As I was hugging Gaia today we seemed to ‘appear’ beneath the ground in her brightly lit chamber, down near the core of the ‘earth’ or at least my learning/training ‘ship’, but further off to the ‘left’ in a new section that I haven’t visited before. There was a chaos portal pool there, seemingly deeper than the one in my lower cavern, and smaller at the surface. It wasn’t sunk down into the ground but raised up within a circle of rock. It had a greenish tint and I could see the stalagmites around it so clearly. I looked at Gaia and myself then, and noted that I was in opalescent humanoid form and she was in a similar but light green glowing form. She told me that she was ‘phosphorescent’.
She told me to take her hand in my left one and we would enter together. There were stalagmite steps leading up to the edge of the pool and I could faintly see more leading down beneath the dark waters. We ascended and descended into the pool until we were ‘underwater’. The pool was not wide and our final steps took us beneath the far edge of the pool where a chaos portal was angled upwards, like a sort of cannon ready to shoot us outwards but it was dual – aiming both ways. Continue reading “Instructions for The Great Union II – Duality”
Today at lunch only Marty, Ashton and I were home. Ashton asked if I still needed to send prayers for Syria and I told him that two days after my prayer began, I knew that something had changed. The initial impetus was the Pope’s decision to send a coalition of religious leaders to Syria and the call for a cease-fire. My spirits guided me clearly, with songs and thoughts and news and journey confirmation, to send prayers for the greatest good regarding the whole situation. The articles said that the pope had been heavily criticized for doing nothing and not speaking out at all, over the year and a half that the conflict had gone on. But two days later he called it off for undisclosed reasons, postponed indefinitely. That’s all I know. I feel sad that it was the first time that my spirits guided me to help with world affairs explicitly, but my prayers didn’t seem to be effective in achieving the greatest good in this case.
Marty heard our conversation and jumped in. He said, ”I’m surprised that the magical community takes any interest in the Pope since he represents Christianity”. It sounded funny to hear my husband say the words ‘magical community’ and know that he included me among them. It’s not like I’m connected to anyone else in any community at this point. Even so I saw the opportunity to affirm my stance. I launched into a talk about all religions and practices being connected to spirituality, how all are valid and no one religion or way is superior. I’ve always considered Christianity and witchcraft as equally valid spiritual practices, for example – neither perfectly ‘right’ and neither perfectly ‘wrong’, both harmful in the ways that people can try to corrupt things to enhance their own wealth, power and influence to the detriment of others; both helpful in the ways that people can approach them with a sincere desire to connect to something divine. Continue reading “Shamagic”
it holds your shame, your twisted roots. it holds your glory, your upright nature. it holds your source of wisdom, your ancestral ties. it holds your tradition, your rules of life. it is what it is, no more, no less. it begs to be remembered, forgiven, cherished because every piece connects to the next and to omit one is to deny the path you took to this moment, to deny the whole being you are now. to forget is to deny your place in the larger forest, the community that sustains itself through twisted roots, upright nature, ancestral ties and rules of life. it is what it is. and it is good.
Rage is a useful tool in self-inquiry. It is like an arrow of truth, cauterizing and cleansing. I dug up this old piece to see what changes I have gone through when it comes to dealing with my rage. Read more of my internal dialogue here.
I spun around in space for a minute thinking about what he had said. A question came into my mind and I wished that I had asked him the answer. It occurred to me to ask someone else. I said, “Can anyone hear me? I have a question I’d like to ask”. My body was picked up by a tiny little one-spirit ship. He was eager to talk to me and I knew right away that he was like a foot soldier, low in rank but high in enthusiasm. He came to a stop then turned and greeted me with, “My lady!” and he gasped. He had somehow figured out who I was in that instant. Maybe they can see me glowing? Continue reading “The Righteous and the Faithful”