Crisis – Last Outpost

Princess Elisabeth Antarctic Research Station
Princess Elisabeth Antarctic Research Station

Last Outpost

I waded into the shore as the scene changed.  I’d been swimming parallel to the suspension bridge, aiming for the opposite shoreline, but I was no longer in a city.  This was no longer a river or a channel.  I was in the wilderness.  In my mind was the idea that I’d just swum from the mainland across ocean to a peninsula in a chain of islands.  I saw this as the Alaskan Peninsula.  I think I’d just swam the equivalent of the Bering Sea.  I stood at the end of the peninsula.

There was one structure standing.  I saw it as something like one of those old Canadian outposts, the only sign of ‘civilization’ anywhere nearby.  I called it a ‘way station; and I saw it as many things.  It was a bit like one of those travel convenience centers along a highway, but in this case much more, since it was the only one for thousands of miles. Beyond was what on earth would be the artic circle – the untamed, frozen north.

It had a restaurant where travelers could find food; limited lodging (like a bunkhouse or hostel); a fueling station (stocked with a two-year supply of every type of fuel); a radio tower (for communicating with the outside world); and both land and sea emergency services (so that they could set out by dogsled, helicopter, or cutter to reach anyone in need).  From here the wilderness was held back, travelers were stocked, the weather was monitored, and explorers were logged out and returned or else ‘missing’. Now it looked very unwelcoming.  There was no sign of anyone coming or going, for months at least.

Way Station

As I walked towards it, I remembered what it had felt like in times past, when it was part of trading routes, commerce, a gathering place for the natives and outlanders.  Now it felt abandoned but I reminded myself that looks can be deceiving.  I didn’t care – it didn’t matter who was there, what awaited me – nothing was going to stop me.  I found the ‘front door’ locked and barred.  I pushed it open by force, breaking every seal.  It closed behind me and I was in darkness so I used my red night vision to see.

No patrons had been here in a long time.  A man approached me – the owner.  He appeared Asian and I knew that he managed the restaurant, not the station.  With gnosis I saw in memory when the order was given for the station staff to evacuate.  They were pseudo government and military personal, in a formal chain of command on the multiverse scale.  Technically the restaurant was separate, run through a private service company with the equivalent of a government contracts.  They’d turned a blind eye and refused to acknowledge the exodus, afraid of erring and violating their agreement.  They didn’t value their employees as much as their profits.

I gave myself gnosis that all of the restaurant staff had left, and he’d sent his daughter away unwillingly.  He’d refused to go, but he’d refused to allow her to stay.  He’d felt that he answered to someone, but he hadn’t heard from them in a very long time and was beginning to doubt his orders.  He said brusquely, “We aren’t serving.”  He was imagining grabbing chairs and smashing them over me, but he knew that he was no fighter.  He just wanted me gone, so he could be left in peace.  I remained on alert, ready to go through him if I had to.  I hoped that I wouldn’t.

Dexter Trading Post, Goliven Bay, Alaska
Dexter Trading Post, Goliven Bay, Alaska

Resupply

My gnosis told me that the kitchen was running out of food and he didn’t want another mouth to feed.  He had begun wondering lately if he’d starve to death here in his own restaurant.  I demanded, “I’m not here for food.  Take me to your lockers.”  By ‘lockers’ I knew that I meant bathroom – changing room – showers – and more.  I was prepared to overpower him if I had to.  Nothing would prevent me from reaching my goal. I knew that he sensed this. He grudgingly led the way in the dark.

As we went I made comments that I knew would arouse some empathy in him.  Mostly I cussed.  “Piss-rot dmn fcking channel full of cursed filthy ice, and the blasted idle way station closed at the other side.  It figures.  No hot dumplings for this belly.” I used words from his own mind, intentionally.  He liked to say ‘piss-rot’ and ‘filthy ice’.  He’d prided his restaurant as being a sanctuary and had placed a ‘blessed idol’ statue over a water fountain in the wall at the entry.  Now it was blasted instead of blessed, and idle instead of idol.  I wanted him to feel that I shared his sentiments.  I mentioned his very favorite food, which he’d run out of some time ago.  My strategy worked.  I felt him align with me a bit – ‘us’ in this tragic situation together.

He stood aside and gestured towards a tiled room.  He said, “The heater has been turned off but it’s fire-run.  I’ll turn it on for you.”  He added sternly, “…but you’ll have to remember to turn it off!  I can’t be wasting the last of my heat.”  He wandered off muttering to himself about how he’d been saving this up – if all else failed, at least he could sit in here and warm himself.  I’d better not mess it up, or I’d be out in the snow.  He muttered on and on as his voiced faded away.  He must have returned to the kitchen.  For some reason he spent all of his time there now, protecting the sparse food I suppose.

Nyiragongo Volcano Lava Lake
Nyiragongo Volcano Lava Lake

Energy Source

The ‘locker’ was a bit like a spa but mostly it reminded me of ski lodges – warmth, convenience, but practicality most of all.  I walked towards the fire heater and my garments just vanished into thin air.  I’d formed them as a guise, but I needed no clothing.  My form was ‘wet’ clear through and still disgustingly toxic from the polluted water.  As I walked towards the fire, I sucked it in and I dried almost instantly, like those new super-fast air jets in waking life can dry hands so fast now.

Somehow that rested and refreshed me, and gave me a burst of new energy.  That’s when I realized how depleted I’d actually been.  It wasn’t a full recharge, but enough to take the exhaustion away and focus my thoughts into clarity again.  That was what I’d come for.  It was the only energy source available.  It had been generating power for other use.  Direct absorption wasn’t its purpose at all, and I knew that no one else would fathom using the heat source in that way, but I was improvising with all that I had access to in the midst of the crisis.

I realized that I have the ability to turn any energy source at all into one I can access and use, and my human self stored that knowledge for future reference.  This was a quick and convenient energy source, given my circumstances, and I needed it.  The next time the restauranteer checked, he’d find his sauna unusable, its natural furnace completely used up, but I didn’t care.  My need had been urgent.

Alaskan Range
Alaskan Range

Resolve

I worried momentarily again about all of the toxicity that must be settled throughout me now, but I dismissed those thoughts.  I reminded myself that even if I dallied and sat in the ‘sauna’ for an hour, as it was meant to be used, that would still just be one minor treatment against a body now brimming with poisons.  It would take years of treatments to remove what I’d absorbed this day, if it was even possible to survive that long once the symptoms began to appear.  I declared that I had no time for cleaning, detoxing and healing!

If I didn’t fulfill my purpose and activate the hidden program, then none of that would matter anyhow.  It would be my childhood ‘end of the world’ dream, repeated so many times every night for years, but this would be the ‘end of the multiverse’ version.  As in the dream, I’d be invincible but I’d witness and feel everyone I ever loved die.  I spent years lucid dreaming the scenarios, running from door to door and portal to portal looking for the magic solution.  At least a thousand times I tried to rewrite that scenario and as many times I came awake drenched in sweat, screaming, locked in terror, knotted in my sheets, or rolling off the bed onto the floor as if I grappled with demons.  I insisted that I won’t be helpless and relive that again!

I strode out of the locker room, across the restaurant, and burst out the door into the cold.  I faced a wall of high, frozen, rocky peaks of immense mountains encircling this narrow tip of this peninsula and marching into the distance as far as the eye could see.  I was heading into the wilderness, naked, with nothing but the energy I’d just recharged myself with.

Hallow ~ May 15th, 2016

Note: In the dream I had the impression that I’d done the multiverse equivalent of visit a volcano and suck all of the fire out of it, leaving it completely dormant. I don’t even know what that would be on the non-physical plane. My dreams are representational, showing me what I’m actually doing as Hallow, but my embodied self is still left extrapolating from familiar earth references. I’ve wondered – if I dreamed events as they truly are, would I even recognize and understand them? I suspect that I have a lot still to re-lean and accept first.

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Into the Wild
by Wrabel

You wanna know
Know where the heat is
It’s in our blood
Take off your clothes
I know it’s freezing
We’re warm enough
Oh, we’re running out into the wild
Don’t know what we’re trying to find
But we need it
Oh, we’re running out into the dark
Running on a broken heart

We’re following the siren call
We’re chasing shadows of a feeling
Out in the middle of it all
Find out we’re bigger than our demons
Into the wild
Oooh…
Into the wild
Oooh…
Into the wild, into the wild

Been here before
We know the language
Let’s speak it now
It’s only us
Human nature
It’s all around
Oh, we’re running out into the wild
Don’t know what we’re trying to find
But we need it
Oh, we’re running out into the dark
Running on a broken heart

We’re following the siren call
We’re chasing shadows of a feeling
Out in the middle of it all
Find out we’re bigger than our demons
Into the wild
Oooh…
Into the wild
Oooh…
Into the wild

Following the animal inside
Running ’cause there’s nowhere left to hide
Into the wild
Into the wild

Oooh…
Oooh…
Into the wild
Oooh…
Into the wild, into the wild