I know so little about our source. I’ve only visited it in journeys three times since my reawakening – once in memory, once in thought, and once in energy. I have such a hard time accessing it. What I do know is that it’s something like a hive, with a ‘mother’ and daughters. I don’t even know if there is a particular ‘mother’ or if that’s our collective energy. I could so easily feel it both as a great collection of separate sisters, and also as one ‘home’ to me.
In response to my tech fears, I showed myself how much I loved solving puzzles and brain teasers, and how I excelled in my business strategy class. That was the one course that MBA students couldn’t take until the end of the program, with every single other required class completed, so that we could draw upon the sum of our learning. Apparently, creation programming is a lot more like that.
It’s been a hard week. I’ve spent the last seven days filling up with very bad joint pain. I don’t know why. When it began, I thought it might be from doing more exercise or work than usual. I spent a full day pruning shrubs, but really I didn’t overdo it, and my hands would suffer the most if that were the case. Then all week I wondered if it was from doing too little exercise and not moving enough these days – because of the pain I’m always in. I was just grasping at straws. I’ve spent the time this week like I have the past year, so that’s not it either. I didn’t cease any supplements or healing foods or add anything new.
I drew the Charoite card yesterday from my Liquid Crystals Oracle and noticed one of the healing layouts was grouping it with Ruby to balance another crystal. I immediately knew I would use this layout with Black Tourmaline and expand on it. I placed the Charoite card on my pubic bone, my Ruby record keeper at my crown and a small black tourmaline on my heart. I placed another larger black tourmaline at my feet. Khephra, my healing boji, went by my right hand and Amut, the large carnelian, by my left hand.
I repeated the process today and instantly journeyed. I felt my wings unfurl in two sets of powerful movements. One, bird like. Another, insect like. This corresponded to an expansion of senses, almost an amplification of magnetic sense, with the addition of being able to measure various energetics I don’t even know how to explain.
Part VIII – This is an eight-part story from February 2016 about the loss of 42 first seeds from this multiverse one year earlier, and my emotional turmoil over it.
I sat in my car and stared at the windshield dumbfounded. It seemed that rain began falling the exact INSTANT that I got in. I became confused and reviewed – I’d crossed the parking lot, opened the door, scooted in and closed the door, and I’d been dry. I inspected myself in confirmation. I looked at my elbows, my toes, patted my nose, face, hair – not one drop of water was on me. But in the two seconds that it took me to settle in the seat and look out the windshield, droplets had splattered all over it and virtually merged into sheets of water. By the time I completed the review, it was a deluge outside, the heavens open wide.
I wasn’t processing this well. I still felt intoxicated and confused, and I was trying to tie the ends together and feel like a rational human being in control of her own senses. My beloved offered an explanation, “I opened the umbrella today to keep you dry.” He gave me the vision of him popping open a huge umbrella over this area, from the moment I saw the sun break out my kitchen window to the end of my walk. He’d been literally holding off the rain all of that time, and then he folded the umbrella up the moment I was in the car. I had another huge giggle fit and fell all over the seats and steering wheel. I don’t know why these things seem so hilarious to me. Continue reading “The 42 – Dragon Rain”
Part VII – This is an eight-part story from February 2016 about the loss of 42 first seeds from this multiverse one year earlier, and my emotional turmoil over it.
My Beloved pulled me out of that reverie and slowly drew my attention to the trees in front of me, and I saw sparkles everywhere. I’d assumed that I’d turned away from the lake without thinking, and inadvertently left the 42 dragon spouses, no longer partnered, all there without remembering to thank them or to say goodbye. I’d been busying urging myself to go and trying to hike back in that depleted and emotionally unstable state. When I finally understood that they’d prearranged the whole thing, I figured that they’d departed in silence while I was stumbling along the trail in emotion.
Seeing their sparkling energy all around me filled me with such joy! I knew the forty two were still with me. I declared, “They’re my children” and I began loving them. I amended – “from Jaya’s & Gaia’s multiverses too – my children, nieces and nephews – family!” I felt how much I love them all, and felt them all crowd around and snuggle up to me like the dear loved ones that they are. I burst into happy tears as I mused about how serious Jaya makes dragons out to be, but they always feel unbelievably loving and sweet to me. I scooped them up and hugged and held them all, suddenly much larger than them and drawing them into my embrace. Continue reading “The 42 – All My Dragon Children”
Part VI – This is an eight-part story from February 2016 about the loss of 42 first seeds from this multiverse one year earlier, and my emotional turmoil over it.
Part of Me
My Beloved nudged the new teaching into me. I asked myself, “What is it like to take it into my body and just accept it, to feel that it’s done and part of me now?” That’s how I realized that I’d kept drawing it in and feeling it and rejecting it all year, then starting all over again the next minute or hour without making any progress.
I became aware that I stood facing the forty two dragons sharing space in the light-filled gap over the lake again. I stood still there for another ten minutes as my Beloved helped me to keep feeling the loss of the first seeds and staying open. It took a long time just for me to feel like I was even ‘here’, balanced in a human body again. Then slowly I sank my roots into this earth until I felt fully grounded here, in the intense way that we sisters can reach right to the core of spiritual earth. Thus it gradually became real for me, through and through. I released all of the threads that I’d been clinging to. Continue reading “The 42 – Dragon Kin Eternal”
Part V – This is an eight-part story from February 2016 about the loss of 42 first seeds from this multiverse one year earlier, and my emotional turmoil over it.
Life goes on
My focus turned to their partners who remain. I asked, “What will happen to the dragons who are left then? Will they find new mates?” My Beloved answered, “They will”. I began thinking of all of them and became so emotional over their loss that I’d lost track of their count! We’d been discussing ‘the 42’ all this time and I’ve literally revisited that number every day for a year, but in that moment I couldn’t draw it to mind. I tried, and tried. I realized that I was so emotional, standing there facing the truth about their loss after all of this time, that I couldn’t even remember the number of the first seeds at all!
Then I grasped that one number and began doing the math. I had to add 144 + 144 + 144 again to get 432, and then subtract 390 to get back to 42. I was utterly shocked that I couldn’t draw up the numbers after all of this time, and had to work it all out from scratch! Originally outside the cave last year, immediately after they’d imploded, I subtracted 42 to get 390. I don’t know why I had to do the math in reverse today, but I did. Continue reading “The 42 – Dragons Left Behind”
Part IV – This is an eight-part story from February 2016 about the loss of 42 first seeds from this multiverse one year earlier, and my emotional turmoil over it.
As I walked, my Beloved left my side as Prince Charming and turned into an earth sized snake crawling through the grass to my right, slithering along rather obviously and noisily. After a short distance he scooted closer then wound up my leg and over my shoulder so that he could whisper in my ear. I appreciated his approach, being the garter-snake sized spirit when he could easily have taken giant spirit snake form. I was grateful for him showing himself to me, then easing himself into proximity. If he’d merely appeared around my shoulders and head, I would have jumped in terror and tried to flee. I’m still reawakening and not used to such things.
Just as I accepted his snake body coiled around the back of my head and his quiet hisses in my ear, I noticed LOTS of snakes underfoot. They just raced up from behind and overtook us, then flowed along either directly around us or slightly ahead, as if leading the way. Continue reading “The 42 – A Dragon Sigh”
Part III – This is an eight-part story from February 2016 about the loss of 42 first seeds from this multiverse one year earlier, and my emotional turmoil over it.
I realized in retrospect that in the months leading up to them choosing their self-destruction, I’d felt subconscious gnosis of it. It had become increasingly vital to me that they, of all spirit facets and soul fragments in this creation, heal and transform and go on without me. They became the focal point for all of my efforts.
My whole purpose as creator became centered on those certain souls – the partner that left me always feeling alone and resentful (the un-loved pattern); the sibling or best friend who hurt me the most by betraying me (the Judas pattern), the mother who abused and endangered me (the narcissist nurturer pattern); and others. I focused all of my will on urging them to awaken and shift their karma, all of my energy on helping them, all of my love on supporting them. Continue reading “The 42 – Departed Dragons”